Tivoli: The Danish Disneyland
Yes, you read that correctly. There IS a Disneyland style park in Copenhagen, and what's better? It's way older. In fact, it was on a trip to Denmark that Walt Disney envisioned his Disneyland + Disneyworld parks. Tivoli is the inspiration for what would become a great deal of my favorite childhood memories.
Need a little MORE convincing? There is WAY more booze at this park. Like, from the moment you walk in these Italian guys (????) were like throwing gløgg (which is like warm wine with raisins and slivered almonds for no apparent reason. Like hot wine with trail mix) down our throats. They were all like (in an Italian accent) "Would you like EXTRA schnapps?" You bet your ass I want extra schnapps! GRAZIE, my friend!
We wandered around the rides (which sucked pretty hardcore, but, I mean, IDGAF I have extra schnapps in my gløgg and I'm already coming up on the next kiosk that for some reason serves even tastier gløgg... and she's all like "You want extra almonds and raisins?" but this time in a Danish accent, because, Denmark and we basically just unhinged our jaws while she poured it in.)
Then we went on the ferris wheel which was basically like every ferris wheel ride ever, except that it was snowing and I couldn't smell any elephant ears (which was the only downside of our day. Also, I have just been told that in the south you don't have elephant ears, but instead funnel cake? FTS.) Anyway, the view from the ferris wheel over Copenhagen was understandably beautiful, and we basked in it for the whole minute of our ride.
Next, we explored a little more and then Mr. Nolandia found the Bavarian section of the park... so, on Christmas, by noon we already had two glasses of gløgg and each of us had like an XL stein of beer. If that doesn't scream holidays, then maybe the massive German style pretzels we ate with the beer helps.
At this point, we were kind of drunk, very merry, but hungry. We got our return tickets stamped so we could come back later and watch fireworks, (you know, when it gets dark about 5pm.) and Terrence had to buy woolen socks from some man dressed as a forest sprite because he is from Texas and doesn't understand winter.
As we passed out of the arches of Tivoli, we were smiling ear to ear. Warm on the inside from the schnapps, warm on the outside because I know how to dress for winter and Terrence had new socks, and feeling very festive indeed. Coming back at night for the lights + fireworks (and more drinks)? Even better.
Disney World.... you've got a run for your money.