For Sentimental Reasons
5 years ago I walked up to Terrence and he kissed me. He didn't say hello, or introduce himself, because I already knew who he was.
I think I would have known him anywhere.
Or, at least my heart would have.
5 years later we are married, we have 3 furry children creatures, and we are always going on new adventures. I love this man.
The book I am writing at the moment is a lot about people who live in the past, and it can be an easy thing to do. Nostalgia gives us a feeling of warmth, and comfort, and our brain likes to re-imagine the past. Making it brighter and safer and more marvelous than it was. We have Facebook and Throwback Thursday and Flashback Friday and time hop and a score of other social medias and cultural entities that direct us firmly backward. "Remember that? Remember this?"
And so, we live in a place that is not quite then and not quite now. We exist in a pseudo-reality where we constantly interact with the past version of ourselves. The friends we had then. The people we were before. The memories we already made, relived ad-infinitum. The past is so warm after all, and safe.
Except that it is a dangerous place too. "It does not do to dwell in dreams and forget to live" Dumbledore says to Harry Potter. And that is what the past is, a dream. An idea of what yesterday used to look like. And if we look back too long, we miss the moment before us, and are not prepared for the incredible gifts that are coming in the future--and so we miss them as well.
I love to look back on the love Terrence and I have built and shared these past 5 years. The trips, the experiences, the lessons, the kisses, the fights, the countless bottles of wine. The late night taxi rides in foreign lands and the dancing, dancing, dancing.
But it does not do to look back and say, "Remember this? Remember us then?" Because I am more interested in Us now. And who we are becoming and what our love looks like today.
Happy 5 years to us, and happy right now to all of you.