Milano-Bergamo-Como Packing List Kind-of

Does anybody like these types of photos? Not me. 

So, this is my packed bag. I really wish this post was going to be more interesting, news flash--it's not. People always want packing posts. "What do YOU wear? What should I WEAR? WHAT DO I BRING?" I mean, c'mon ladies.

I'll admit, I'm the kind of person who does search "packing list Milan", "packing list Portugal autumn" and I don't know why, because I find the packing list and I'm disappointed. Either it's written by a complete moron, sorry, or like, the biggest dork ever. 
They either give advice like bring white jeans, and this specific super-mega-awesome-boho-flowy top and heels! Because it's the fashion capital! Or, it's advice like, "bring your money belt, and pants that can zip off at the knee and become shorts and also a rain-resistant, fire resistant, pasta-resistant collared shirt that also can zip off into a wedding gown." It's bonkers, you guys.

So, what DID I bring to Northern Italy in May? Dresses, one shift dress (from Brass) --which, on my hourglass body looks borderline inappropriate-- a sundress, a cocktail dress, a midi skirt, a pencil skirt, and a bunch of t-shirts/ tank tops in black and white and a black sweater. That's really it. I like to keep my color options simple, so think:black, white, red (and a skirt that is black white and pink, because why not) and that's it. One pair of "dressy" sandals, and one pair of Tieks, all packed into my little wonder backpack and spinner carry-on that I discussed two weeks ago-in this post RIGHT HERE

But, here's the low down. If you see an Italy packing list for May-September, and it doesn't have at least three or four dresses on it, get the hell outta there. If someone tells you not to wear jeans, basically anywhere, GET OUT. If someone recommends pants that zip anywhere but up, FLEE. The best advice for packing for any trip is this: be simple. Think plain, well-cared-for tees and tanks, properly-fitting tailored garments that don't have to be expensive, and comfortable but stylish shoes. Like, Tieks, or Nisolo or, I mean, buy some when you get there. Italy and Spain are kind of known for leather goods and shoes, so when in Rome... or Milan, or Madrid, incidentally. 

Anyway, sorry, I'd much rather bitch than write a helpful post, but you knew that already. 
Go somewhere, buttheads. Travel, wear some cool clothes, whatever. 
See ya next week with some rad Italian pictures of probably buildings and wine and beautiful people that I'm not. 


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